Keep Yo Heart

I'm going to catch hell for this one ..

I would like to preface this before I get into this bit of reading by saying to all of the women who will comment on this: "you have your own columns on men that you can read all over the internet". You can go to any number of websites where you can find list upon list about how you should stay away from this type of man if he doesn't have this or that, if he can't take you this place or that place, or if he doesn't have this type or car or that type of car. I also believe in the "hit dogs will holler analogy" so if it doesn't apply to you, then you don't need to stick up for the women that it does apply to. That type of "support" is just as damaging as the type that other ain’t shit men give to each other to justify their ain’t shitness. So, this isn't picking on women, it's just giving men a heads up as you so often do with each other. If you agree or have any tips that are helpful to this column, by all means share. But if not, keep it pushing ma'am, nothing to see here for you.

I really feel like this should already be known; like most men should be smart enough on their own to realize this tidbit of information. But I realize that a lot of guys don't and for that reason I must tell them a couple truths about women, (or girls I should say), that come into their life for only but a season. And of course, this isn't coming from a place of bitterness, just a place of genuine concern for the development of the current culture of men coming up. A lot is made of men not wanting to reach back and help younger men that come up listening to the advice of entertainers and wanting to live the fast lifestyle of a said entertainers. Well this column is just for them and no one else. They need that someone to tell them that "hey that shit is cool to dance to and get hype, but stupid as hell to follow your normal real-life scenario, bro". So today I'm here to say to said young men:

Stay away from harmful women that don't better you.

Now for the longest time I personally didn't know about this type of woman. It took me years and a really great woman, (my current one), to realize what kind of woman that is. You know, that whole retrospective thinking about failed relationships and all. The conclusion that I came up with is that most women don't want to really see you personally do well when we're all out and doing our own thing, they want to have fun just like you. Now while our fun comes in the various forms of drinking, watching sports, chilling with the homies, for some of you smoking, having sex and pretty much just chilling. Women's fun comes from more concentrated things such as being fed, going to do cool stuff and taking trips. Now while this may actually help you in the long run when it comes to the one woman you find to settle down with, it actually hurts you pretty significantly while you're not with her.

I'm the classic southern gentleman. I say this because I actually value treating women with the utmost respect and dignity this world has to offer; regardless if they deserve it or not. I don't believe a man should disrespect her in any case, simply because something happens or he doesn't like anything about her. I believe that a man should make the first move, the man should plan the dates and that a man should pay for those dates when he asks. That's just apart of the game in the grand scheme of dating. I don't need to state that it's basically showing that you can be a leader of a home and all that great jazz. But there's certain levels of said dating that you just don't go beyond for a specific set of reasons. The main reason to that is your own self-preservation.

You don't bend over backwards for just some woman.

When I say this, don't get it confused or twisted with doing what you should do while dating. What you should do while dating is take her out to nice places if you like her that much. What you should do is go do cool things beyond the typical date night stuff such as bowling, that fake wall climbing thing, couples painting, stuff like that. That kind of stuff is cool when you're staying within your personal budget. Now this next statement will garner the ever so comment of calling me a "broke boy" and some fellas will agree to it simply because they think it will get them somewhere with a woman faster. Which may be true simply because she'll want to spend your money faster if she's that type of woman. But fellas, please for the love of God, don't spend your hard-earned money on trips and really expensive dates with a woman that you know you're not going anywhere with.

It's 2017, it is a time where we could die tomorrow and no one would really blink an eye because it happens so often. In a world where we don't know if we'll have basic human rights the next day, you have to be prepared to take care of business at a drop of a dime. No one is safe from being fired from anything anymore for the simple fact that one complaint from a person that doesn't have a problem with you per say, but rather with your beliefs. And to that end you have to be ready for that case and I will tell you right here and now, 99.99% of women will not help you in those times of need. Trust me when I say this, I'm speaking from personal experience of that. And there is any woman disagree with this and saying that they will, keep in mind that there this is always a but to that.

I repeat, there is always a but to that statement fellas.

Women don't want a man that isn't sure about his future, let alone the short term. They want that sense of safety and security from whomever they are with at the time and that's just fine. Women are supposed to feel that from whatever man that they take interest in; to a degree. It's one thing to guarantee physical protection, it's another to guarantee financial protection if you aren't bound to each other in the form of marriage, living together towards marriage or a child. I mean even the whole child thing is contingent based because most of the time your only obligation is said child. I bring all of that up for the simple fact that you have to always, and I mean ALWAYS, stay ready for the unforeseen. And trust me, to the women that are worth a damn, you being frugal and ready for said unforeseen will be attractive as hell to them and that will make them want you more and will work with you.

So, don't listen to all of those women that say you have to fly them out to this country or that one. Don't listen to them if they tell you have to take them to this restaurant or that one on the corner that sales appetizers for the main course. Don't listen to the women that you have to wear a certain type of clothing in order to even get a conversation with them. And especially don't listen to a woman who says that you should have any kind of object in order to take them out on a date. These are the type of women that will literally ruin your life. It's not bad for women to have standards and want a man to have certain things to MATCH WHAT THEY HAVE, it's not alright for them to have those standards and can't even afford a hot link and a bag of ramen noodles, all while making you feel bad for not spending your hard-earned money on them. Remember fellas, this your money and your possessions, take care of them for you.

Because you don't know how long they'll be there, but you always will be.

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