The Deliverance of Devon Young

This has been in the making for a while now.

As you get older you start to realize all of the things that work and don't work for you. You know what foods you like, what shows you care to see, what people you want to talk to and what kind of activities you like to do. Luckily if you do it semi right then you'll hit a couple of road blocks that take you quite amount of time to figure out on your own. That process can be quite frustrating because it's stressful, annoying and just downright time consuming. But as we all know the gratification comes when you figure it all out in the end and you come to the conclusion that only you could come to. To me that's what life is all about, finding things out on your own so that you may become the best person for you and no one else. By doing so you create a unique identity that offers something to yourself and to society. It's no secret that a lot of folks lose out on this by the one wrong decision that they make early on. While that may be sad, it's also still apart of life, which makes you finding who you are that much sweeter.

And that's where I'm at right now in my life; I've always known who I was, I'm just figuring out what it is that I like. I mean it's not something that I just put together all on one night and decided to write it for you all here, it was more so over the course of the past two years when I was forced to reevaluate my life and look closely at who I am. Where most people choose to run and not want to deal with what's going on or they're forced to grow up a tad, I went in full throttle because simply I wanted to be a better version of myself, for myself. The reason as to why I'm writing this is because I'm starting a new chapter in my life that seems to present the opportunity to close the chapter on a lot of other things; turning 30 years old. It seems that as a society we associate ages with by life moments where it presents us with a progression plan.

  • 16 you're starting your ascent towards young adulthood
  • 18 you're actually a young adult who is going to make a lot of mistakes
  • 21 you're given a little more leeway into adulthood and expectations of you rise.
  • 25 you're a full-fledged young adult who is thrust out into the real world to see if you can make it.
  • 30 is when you're considered an adult and everyone looks at you to see if you have your life together.

Now any realist knows that age is not what makes or breaks person in terms of their progression with life. I equate that silly notion to the beauty standards in which the women of the world are subjected to. You can't have a set standard for something that all people have to strive to be or abided by, it just doesn't work like that. There are some people who never get to experience life as others at those certain periods of time so they may lack in certain areas for that simple fact. This was true with me until 25 when I was thrown into the real world to see if I could sink or swim and to be quite honest, I sunk to the bottom of the proverbial ocean. It wasn't until 27 that I hit that need to reevaluate my life and see who I wanted to be. When I hit that bottom of the ocean and I realized that I was drowning and I needed to save myself before I died.

And let me tell you, that swim to the top was one of the roughest experiences ever.

There were a lot of things that I mixed up and tried; some of it didn't work for me and some it did. There were people that grew closer to and there were some people that ultimately just faded to the wayside because they didn't understand what I was doing. There were times where I understood the consequences of my decisions and there were sometimes where I was literally baffled by the outcomes of certain things. The one thing that never change was the fact that I kept swimming towards the top. Not for one second did I consider stopping for the sake of giving someone else my strength so that they could use it to get to the top. I hogged every single ounce of breath, forward stroke and every bit of muscle exertion that I needed to get to the top. When you're in that situation, swimming for your life, you need to be every single bit of selfish that you can possibly be.

There will be people who understand, who will cheer you to the top; and there will be people who won't and will make you feel bad for doing so. But at the end of the day you can't worry about those people, you can't let them deter you from saving your own life, from becoming that person who you want to be. I hit some speed bumps in my life but it seems that I'm on track now that I'm at 30. I swam as hard as I could and I feel as though I'm finally ready to enter the next phase of my life, one where I apply all that I learned and experience towards the betterment of my overall everyday output. While I've always fought the whole age expectations thing, it seems as if I was just off course and I'm finally back after getting back to the surface and seeing land. Sometimes it takes that to see where you need to be for you in life.

Sometimes deliverance is not about being rescued by someone else, but rather by you saving yourself from you.

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