Relationships .. The Lost Cause?



Oh how it feels good to be back. I've been gone from the blog scene due to various obligations such as The United States Army & trying not to fuck someone up around here for their racist antics, but like usual, they can't hold me down lol. But since I'm on the brink of my getting out of the uniform service, I figured I should give you guys something new til I return to full form after my full discharge.

Now I would've made this Rants & Raves VII but I figured that you guys deserved my A++ game when I post one of those, So I'll hold off til I get ample time to sit and think and put it together in a more tasteful manner. But there's one thing that bothers me now a days, & that's the value of a relationship. Too many times I've heard recently "It's ok .. It doesn't mean anything if you're not married". Now this is the part where I get confused. You mean to tell me it's ok to go out and lie & cheat on someone you're dating just because you guys aren't married. Now that is something that I can't wrap my finger or my mind around because I thought the whole reason for being in a relationship and dating someone was for the purpose of potentially marrying them.

Now I understand in the beginning when you're getting to know them and you aren't too sure if you guys are going to make it to the next day because you're walking around on egg shells essentially because you guys are in the getting to know phase. But after you make that conscience decision to say "hey, I think this person might be worth it in the long run", You should not have a feeling of wanting to cheat while you're with that person. You slowly but surely let loose of all those loose ends that weren't really relationship potential because if they were .. You'd be dating them right now rather than the person you're with at the current moment, then you engage in being fully invested in getting to know them.

But as I stated before more than one person has pointed out to me that if you aren't married to that person, then you aren't obligated to be faithful. I find that a shame because to me, the foundation of your marriage comes from a strong friendship and a partnership that is developed over time after being with that individual. You shouldn't want to cheat and lie to that person anyways, because to me if you do, then you don't belong together anyways. If things get hard and you want to run away, then you don't belong together with that person. If you can't openly express yourself to that person and they at least try to understand where you come from, then you don't belong with that person.

At some point you give up certain things you use to do when you were single so that you can  build a better relationship with that other person. I wrote a blog almost three years ago about things that you should give up when you're working on a relationship with someone. just some basic things that you should want to do when you get with someone you could potentially see yourself with in the future.

Here's that list to jog  your memory ..

1. Stop conversing with people you talked to, dated, fucked, or even looked at with interest. | Face it, what good can come from this, like really, what could possibly come out of a person that you use to mess around with. Friends or no friends, whether they're cool or they're not. The person you're in a relationship with will always have a problem with them as long as they're around. Just stop it for Pete's sake!

2. Clubbing, Drinking, & anything else.
| You should come to the realization that none of these things apply to you anymore. Like OK seriously, what's the point of going out to the club with your friends. That's only going to cause more awkward tension when you go back and say, "Oh well I was with my friends at the club a little buzzed & I danced with this one guy like three times, blah blah blah." give it a rest. If you're really serious about your significant other. Then you know it's time to hang the club attire up.

3. Texting & Phone Calls
| This goes along the lines of number one. Like seriously, anybody that calls or texts you after 11:30 talking about "What's up?" needs to be put in their places immediately. Like what in the blue hell do you think someone wants at that time of the night, everybody is already in a club somewhere, so they're not calling about that. & they're definitely not calling to talk about homework. Come to your senses, they're not good for the health of your relationship.

4. The Meetings
| There will be a serious of meetings of friends of the person you're involved with. Just try to be studious and do all the things that you did when you met and attracted the person that you talked to, cause nine times out of ten, the person you talk to, their friends are just like them in some kind of way, so they would probably be the same person a sense.

5. Break bad habits
| Oh geez, this a relationship killer. If you don't know how to move past the bad things that held you back from previous relationships progressing, then you're basically screwed. Cause how can you move forward if you're doing the same thing from the past?

Now as I re-read that list & thought if any of it made sense to my 26 year old self, because I wrote it when I was 23, and the only thing I can debate about is #2 because I found out different levels of clubbing, you can go to kick backs and nice bars, but other than that, if you're over the age of 24, then you shouldn't be face down and ass up in the middle of any club and expect someone to take you serious.

I find it odd how people can say, it's OK because you're not married. That just an gate way conversation for when you get up there in some years of marriage and the other person decides to tell you that they just sucked 12 dicks and kissed you on the mouth or ate whole bunch of ass and decided to tongue your throat down. We as a society need to do better when it comes to relationships, because too many failed relationships these days involve kids and if you take the time to work on your problems now, then maybe later you won't have anything to work out besides what restaurants to eat or where to retire.

But hey, this is strictly my opinion, if you feel different, feel free to share. Because I know some dumb ass is going to try and dispute this just because they want to be difficult lol