Rants & Raves VI


Even righteous minds go through this ..
 
Intro:

[Thank you, thank you, thank you, please hold your applause for I applied logic, keys, keys open doors ..] I’m not even going to lie, this is about to be the longest blog, letter, message, tweet, whatever you want to call it, that I’ve ever written. Mainly because I have so much to get off my chest. First and foremost let me clear something up, I don’t write blogs to seek attention or anything of that nature, I write them to get feelings off my chest. I write because my stories can help those who have either been through the same situation that I’ve already been through and in, and can hopefully deter them from making some brash decisions. Cause trust me I know there’s only one man that can ever judge me, and I’ll never change for anyone or anything, so [I’ma follow the rules, no matter how much time I’ma get, I’ma live and die with the decisions that I’ma pick.] Cause I realized a long time ago that I have one life to live, and if I worry about what one person thinks of me or what another person thinks I should do, then I’m going to be one of those brainless dudes that walks around jumping on every snapback and crazy ass dance that comes about every so few seasons. Everyone who knows me, knows I’m not that guy, in any sense of the phrase. & everyone knows that I don’t think I’m better than anyone else on this planet. [Heaven knows that I made my mistakes, that God, what a guy, as I say my grace]. My last post Rant & Rave V was just an overview, or a cop out for some if you will. I didn’t want to throw too many situations out there, nor name drop, I mean I’m not going to name drop still, but that’s because I’m being very nice after I calmed down. But since people want to come at me sideways still, I’ll address everything one last time and leave it at that. Honestly I have bigger things to worry about cause [I’m about my paper, 24/7, 365, 366 in a leap year ..] & I’m all about snatching my babe up and proving to her that everything she believes I am is true. But anyways, without further hesitation, let’s get started shall we?

Home:

Now I don’t honestly even know why this is a issue. I don’t live in Florence, SC anymore. I won’t ever live there again. Yea that’s home, but things change, times change, and people change. I’ve grown up and moved on, but apparently a certain dude I thought was a homie is going around throwing shots at me just to get in with some girl that he THINKS I still talk to. Well homie is sadly mistaken because I haven’t seen old girl since 2006. That’s five years ago my dude, five. Just in case you don’t know what that means, it means I have no use for her in that sense. Hell I didn’t even want her back then, we were just friends. So if you will please keep my name out your mouth, cause you know more people like me than you because your personality is like that of fuckin humus and I’m ketchup and what not. Man I tell you [Niggas is brainless to unnecessarily go through these changes]. But to my homie that I considered a homie, we aint cool like that because [Niggas wasn’t playin they day role, so we parted ways like Ben & J-Lo]. It’s sad to say that, but it’s true man. Get together homie, you need to be worrying about how you’re going to take care of that little one instead of trying to bad mouth another man for no ass you aint gettin. That shit is crazy to me and it don’t even make sense. But like I said, I don’t live in Florence, SC anymore, I left and moved on with my life. You should think about doing the same if you don’t want to end up like some old bum on the corner.

& to that big nigga that I kick it with, get your shit together brother, you got a degree, use that shit for something, anything, stop looking to take these easy ass side jobs and what not. The moves are out there to be made man. Make them shits for real, stop talking about it and be about it. Cause I’m hearing too much from you the same old line, [I’m not afraid of dyin, I’m afraid of not tryin’, everyday hit every wave like I’m Hawaiian]. You’re my family, so I can be honest, you pissin me off chillin at home doing the same old shit, and the rest of the fellas feel that way too. So come on man, turn over a new leaf and get with the program, we aren’t getting any younger!

To that skinny nigga who is always sending his dick to females in them little ass text messages. Stop my dude, that shit doesn’t work anymore, well maybe they do on them young ass girls you still pray on. WE are turning 25 this year, how about you change your life and get it together like I am. [& really the fact is, we not in the same bracket, not in the same league, don’t shoot at the same baskets, don’t pay the same taxes, hang with the same bitches, so how am I in the way, what is it that I’m missin? Nigga I been missin, Nigga I been gone, the shit that you just witnessin’, I been on ..] 

Remember that ..

.. & to that light skin nigga not taking care of his baby and moochin off that chick who me and the two other homies passed up cause she was a booper but you wifed her ..  [What!? You broke .. fuck you gon tell me?]

My Employer:

[Too many rough mother fuckers, I got my suspicion that you’re just fish in a pool of sharks nigga]. This is exactly how I feel about these army cats. They say and preach one thing and do another. I found about five real dudes since I’ve been at Fort Bragg, That’s why I distance myself from these fools. Especially at this unit, correction, this company. It seems like all they want to do is talk about each other behind each other’s back and then smile in faces like it’s all cool. They want to be your friend one minute, but drag you down the next because you’re doing better than them. But ya’ll know me, I could give a fuck less what these people think about me. I don’t fake or front shit, if I don’t fuck with you, I’ll give you the greeting of the day and keep it like that. I don’t want to be your friend, I don’t want to go play ball with you, hell I don’t even want to see you, because I know you’re a rat ass dude who talks shit like a female. Which is a shame, but I guess since [other niggas aint in the game, so they practice hate .. ] And these females, lie to your face as well & talk shit about the next person, but won’t check themselves. I think that’s the root of the problem. They know I’ve hit the pinnacle of self thought and in their little ass minds they can’t comprehend why I act like I act. Well it’s called being grown, most of the people that don’t make it in the army and stay the same rank for forever and a day is because they can’t get their mind over that hump. And that’s all cool, I just ask that you leave me be, but [You don’t have to if you don’t want, but don’t say I didn’t warn you].

[Life is for livin, not living uptight .. ]

Women:

The fundamental problem that I have with women & girls alike is that I'm way too nice. But I can honestly say that I’m off [I got a main chick, a mistress and a young bitch ..] kind of lifestyle. Because I found out the hard way that [Too many bitches wanna be ladies, so if you a hoe, I'ma call you a hoe, too many bitches is shady]. I thought I saw it all when I was broke, but since a nigga got benefits, they want to treat me different. And I’ve heard it multiple times, that exact line from their mouth. That’s why I don’t even associate myself with a bunch of women like that. I mean yea I flirt on twitter, but that’s it, I don’t give a fuck when I get off that joint. I got a life to live. But it do piss me off when [Too many ladies give these niggas too many chances .. too many brothers wanna be lovers don't know what romance is]. So these niggas beat and then get a girl preggo because they spitting that hot garbage ass game in your ear, now you’re preggo, how about you stop listening to that dude and find you a man that’s going to hold you down when it gets rough. I swear some of you girls got birds for brains if you let some “thug”’ that you needed to love all on you is going to be there when you get preggo, he’s a thug you dumb hoe, that means he don’t give a shit about you and the seed he created. Smarten up ladies, please do before this cycle continues.

.. to that girl that called me manipulative & a liar, just know that [If I can’t live by word, then I’d rather much die]. But I know you ain’t mean that, I just know you were hurt that you had to find out that I was off you. You seriously thought I was going to wait on you to come around? Yea, ok. I mean you’re a relatively young one. You have time to get it together. Oh yea, you’re welcome for that letter. I meant what I wrote, you just couldn’t handle it. But like I said, it’s all love, I’ll be here for you, cause you’re going to need all the good men you know to break out those bad ass habits that you got.

To the most recent ex, [Finally, my time’s too short to share, and to ask her now, it aint fair, so yea .. she lost one], that statement says it all, good luck on your new relationship, hope you learned from all the mistakes you made with me and actually make it in life.

[See I got demons in my past, so I got daughters on the way. If the prophecies correct, then the child should have to pay, for the sins of the father, so I barter my tomorrow’s against my yesterdays in hopes that she’ll be ok , & when I’m no longer here, they shade her face from the glare, I give up my share of ..] To my babe, my boo, my dear, my honey, my motivator, my girlfriend. I’m going to do right by you, I’m not going to say a whole lot to you, because we’re going to have a little talk, but ‘ I tell these dudes out here on a daily basis that [In fact I got a joint to knock your points of]. They brag and boast all the time about the girls that they bag and how they skin all these cats. & they look at me like what hoes do I have, I tell them none, I tell them I have a woman that fell in love with me, and I love her so, and that automatically makes you the best thing out there, period. I told them it’s no competition, cause I’m not competing. I’m the real winner cause I know that you look for me daily to send you that good morning text, or that good night text, or that I want to see how you’re doing text. I’m a winner cause I know I got you. I’m just trying to go all out for you. I’m not going to lie, its actually hard to know what to do, when I actually want to try. Before I just did it cause it was second nature. But every move has to be perfect for you, every single one. I want it so that when you’re sitting at work or in class, you just think to yourself and then go, dang, this man really loves me. That’s my goal, for you to just know how I feel. So that day, many, many, many, many, years from now when we have that daughter, she will definitely be a product of two people that will love and spoil her. [So til she’s here, & she’s declared, the heir, I will prepare, a blueprint for you to print, a map for you to get back, a guide for your eyes just so you won’t lose scent ..]

[And all you other cats throwin shots at Jigga .. you only get half a bar .. fuck ya’ll niggas]

This post was inspired by good friend Tiff, go check out her blog at Addiction. All quotes are from various Jay-Z songs.

Rants & Raves V


I'm goin in, fuck it, I'm goin in,
I was just about to take off the top.
Let us begin ..
- Young Jeezy

Intro ..

I'm back after almost a year's hiatus from writing. Why such the long wait you ask? Mainly it's because I spent the better half of 2010 in training and being up for 19hrs a day, then I got to Fort Bragg and I spent the better part of 12hrs a day at work. So needless to say, I've been busy, real busy. Now that's not going without saying that there hasn't been a lot going on in my life, cause there has. There has been a couple of new women, dealing with a particular ex still & transitioning into the real world. So what better way to come back than to hit you with version five of the postings that everyone pays attention to, Rants & Raves V.

For those of you that don't know about my Rants & Raves series, it usually just talks shit and almost names names. It's as honest and clean cut about my life as it can get. And the reason why people usually like it is because they can either relate, or they know who the hell I'm talking about, either way, it's something for all to read. So without further ado ..

Sports

This whole nonsense with the lockouts is annoying and also retarded. While owners and players duke it out on who's going to make more money, (which players should because they're the ones playing and laying their bodies on the line, but that's another debate for another time), the real losers of these situations aren't the fans, it's actually the workers. It's the guys who buff the floor, and cut the grass. Who sell popcorn and hand out tickets. Who sit outside in ice cold parking lots directing traffic. It's been well documented that the layoffs have been high for both NFL and NBA. It also pains me to see players having to take out ''loans" to keep up with bills. I mean come on, I think the lowest contract you can get is for 500, 000. I do not feel a drop of sorrow or pity for those guys that go out and spend all their money on things that aren't needed. But any who, kudos to the NFL for getting their stuff together, now as for the NBA, there is a ton of optimism going around that there won't even be a season. Good job guys.
 
Music

J. Cole is the shit, The Weeknd is the shit.
Lil Wayne & Drake I'm starting to get tired of hearing from.
With Jay-Z & Kanye West dropping that new Watch The throne CD.
Lil B was surprisingly good, while DJ Khaled CD was a DJ Khaled CD.
I'm waiting on the new Game & Pastor Troy CD's.
Lloyd's King of Hearts was a good CD.
Like it or not, Rick Ross is that dude.
I hate Kelly Rowland's motivation.
I heard Beyonce was a success, cause all the women are blasting her music.
& Odd Future troubles my soul ..
 
The Army

Boy oh boy, my good old employer. My status right now is that I'm a deployed solider in Southwest Asia, beyond that i can't say anymore for security purposes and safety, but I can tell you that it sucked leaving to come over here. But it has to be done, someone has to do it. But boy this whole thing has kicked my ass the whole year and a half I've been in. I started off at Fort Knox in Kentucky, then I went to Fort Lee in Virginia, my next stop was Fort Benning, Then I ended up at Fort Knox as my first duty station. So needless to say, I've been to three of the hardest bases to be at in the first year and a half of my Army career. But it's all been a good experience though. I found out a lot about myself in the process. But all in all sometimes I feel as though the army is for me, other times I feel as tho I need to get the hell out and live my life. Especially after living this deployed life. But hey it is what it is. So we'll see where that goes from there.

Oh yea, what's with everyone having sex with everyone here, this is starting to remind me of a bridge that is between high school and college.

My Relationship

Now just where do I begin with this one. I think I have to drop names on this one. But let me state first that I am indeed single, but not really single. As of right now I'm aggressively going after this beautiful, intelligently nonchalant woman who shall not be named. I wanted to do it different this time. Like 360. No one is going to know about her, and I don't want anyone giving their opinions about what's going on with us, cause it doesn't really matter. I've known her for some odd number of years, so I know enough about her to make her apart of my life. I'm taking my sweet ass time getting to know her too, no need to rush the stroke. But that is my babe, my boo, my honey, my honey bun, my dear and anything else applicable. I spoil her with flowers and good morning texts. I randomly tell her that she is beautiful and make people jealous to be her. She doesn't even know how many messages I get on twitter about how women want a guy to do the things I do for her. It's just what I do, make her feel special because she is to me. She isn't the typical girl, she's the complete opposite of what I usually go for. So that's all that's going to be said about her and I.

Side note: dated this Spanish girl this time last year, yea she got crazy, real fast. She was half Mexican and half Puerto Rican. Yea, I did it to myself lol 

Slander 

Now the one chick who decided she wanted to attack my character and make me feel bad. Hmm what do I say about you. I mean you're a cool chick, a cool person. I have no ill will or hard feelings towards you. I stopped talking to you because you didn't have the time, or as so it seems, nor are you ready for a commitment. Which is sad because there are so many women out there that are looking for a man like me that you had to throw it away. Which is fine, we all need to learn at one point. I really do hope you find that man that you need and what you're looking for, because I know it's not me. But don't ever get it twisted or the situation misconstrued, attacking my character is not going to hurt my feelings, nor validate the nonsense you said. Everyone and their mama knows that I'm a good hearted man. It's been repeated so many times since I've been deployed that I know it's not just me thinking it. When I go after a woman, I go after them, and that was too much for you too soon, I get that. And you're right, I'm not going to wait around. I'm not going to give my time and effort to you, only for you to not give it any effort, and no you didn't give any effort, maybe to finding some weed or drinks or a party, but not to me. But like all the holy one's say, God Bless to you mam, I really do hope you have a good life.

And to my EX, yea you messed up, yea I did the right thing by not stooping to your level and feeding into your drama producing brain. And now many many many months later, you're back, trying to be nice. Well I'll be nice to you, because that's what God wants me to do, but at the same time, you're still trifling and ignorant as hell for what you did. So there's a big fat fuck you in there somewhere. But the God in me won't allow such harsh words to come out. But rather a nice peaceful resolution. But I also wish you well and hope you have a good life.

Think I said what I had to say, I mean it could've been more in depth, but I'm all about not giving a fuck these days, so I'll say all that and my peace, and just move on with my life.

I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss Raleigh & I miss South Carolina.

Until next time ..