A Grown Ass Woman Or Nah

This should be good.

Usually when I write these things, there's really no point involved because they are most likely pretty ridiculous and outside the realm of what it is normal. I also try to write these "reaction post" type deals sparingly because they usually get on my nerves towards the end of writing them. But this time around someone sent me this one in particular that seemed pretty interesting for the most part. And by interesting I mean it supplies enough content that makes sense for me to debate the true effects of it in the real world.

The article in question is called 21 Ways You Know You Are Dating A Grown Ass Woman. Now right off gate the title suggests that a man has finally found a woman that is worth settling down with because she portrays a certain type of behavior that goes along the lines of "normal" and "easy going" looks like. I give the author credit because even though most of them I have a dispute for, they are pretty much on par for what a grown ass woman is supposed to look like. But you know me, this wouldn't be a reaction article if I didn't have some kind of quarrel.

So without further ado: 

1. What she brings to the table, she doesn’t use as a weapon or a bargaining tool for power. Whether she makes more than her man or less than him, he still feels every bit of man throughout their relationship. | Yea, I wish this was true. I mean this sounds nice and all, but at the end of the day this will become a problem. I haven't seen a situation where a woman respects a man that made less than her, regardless of what they say out of their mouth. There will be some kind of undertone to them and there will be feelings that you can do better because your man makes less. One would assume that if a man can take care of a his woman then it would be all great. But in this day and age, you simply never know with folks anymore. I mean hell, even Oprah never married Steadman ..

2. She is her own person with her own interests outside of you. She has hobbies.  She has girlfriends. She’s active in her community, her job, her church, her organization affiliations. She does not need to be attached to your hip to feel complete. | This one here is tricky. I mean for the most part this is what I want from a woman, one with her own goals and life outside of the relationship. Nothing is more annoying than having someone up under you 24/7 not doing a thing with their life. Personally I think that's the deciding factor with me, a woman with no goals or life of her own. She's simply happy with being in a relationship and nothing else; sad and creepy at the same time too. I had a relationship once before where she and I had our own life and goals. It ended due to the fact that we were both too busy for each other; the irony.

3. If she has a child from a previous relationship, she’s not keeping the child from the father out of spite. | Another tricky one. Emotions are different from every single person. So to say that someone is doing something that carries heavy emotional implications is a bit redundant to me. Only for the simple fact that you don't know what every single person is thinking or feeling about a certain individual or situation. I would take this one for a grain of salt until you actually talk to that person after building a great relationship with them. Then and only then can you judge the situation by being able to see what he's doing and hear what she's thinking.

4. She knows that you can’t read minds so she’s able to effectively communicate with you. When you ask her, “what’s wrong?”, she doesn’t lie and say “nothing” knowing good and well she’s hot as fish grease. | OK just wait a damn minute, this is first lie on the list. I don't care what you're going to say, women are going to women, and this is one thing you can never hope and expect from one. I've known the smartest and at least semi-rational women on this planet and even they still act like this. No one is perfect and instead of saying that they will never act like this is nothing more than a fallacy, The correct thing to say here is that if you're lucky then you'll have a woman who does this at least once or twice in life. Or if she does, its because she's one argumentative or wanting to always be right type of women.

5. You can get a cooked meal out of her. Like a real cooked meal. Even if she hates cooking or doesn’t know how to cook, she will do so for you. | We're back on track with this one. This one is true and I know it to be true from personal experiences. As a person who knows how to cook and takes the time to do so, I know from first had experiences that cooking is a really tedious task to complete. So I think whenever a person cooks, period, it's a special kind of deal. Luckily there are more women that know how to cook than men, because lets face it, cooking takes a delicate touch that only a woman has. Men will literally burn down the kitchen trying to cook anything other than grilled foods. So this is one that I can fully agree on and thoroughly appreciate at the same time.​

6. She knows how to pick her battles. | I don't even know what this means lol.

7. She’s not insecure or jealous of your relationship with your boys, or with your family, or with your children if you have some from a previous relationship. That one female friend that is ACTUALLY your home girl, she’s not jealous of her either. The women that swoon over you, is no sweat off her brow. Inside, she’s thinking, “they should swoon, I got a good ass man!” | This is sound and logical here, no matter how much people think it is illogical. I've actually had a girlfriend who was like this for the most part because she knew who I was and how I didn't care at all for the women that were hitting on me. Hell it even happened when she was right there with me one time, (granted she gathered the whole lady, but still). But make no mistake while she was cool, she was still with the shits, and that means she was still aware of who was hitting on me. When one got too friendly she let it be known. So this statement is cool, but only to a certain point.

8. Those dreams you have? She supports and speaks life into them. Whether you’re trying to climb the corporate ladder or expand your car repair shop, she has your back. | Now this one is probably the truest one of them all, if you find the right woman. An unhappy person is still going to be an unhappy person at the end of the day. But if you  find a woman that is truly on your side at the end of the day then you'll win more than you'll ever lose in life. There's a certain special power that relies within a woman and her support of her man. It's just like an extra wind when you feel like you can't complete a race. Nothing will ever compare to a woman that is fully behind you.

9. She doesn’t let social media influence her relationship or interactions with you. | Eh, this kind of goes hand in hand with the whole jealousy thing to me. Too many times you can't control what strangers, (or people you actually know in real life), from making some sort of remark to you. And more times than not a comment can be misconstrued if you don't know the context behind it. Plus there could be someone that can come along and say something messed up about you to her and she'll at least have it on her mind to ask you and depending on how you answer will dictate how she feels about it. But to say that social media has no influence is a bit of a stretch to me.

10. She doesn’t let her friends and family have much or any input into your relationship. And on the rare occasion she does, she has sense enough to seek out the friend who isn’t miserable, bitter and unable to give sound, rational advice. | This is key. If you can find a woman that has enough sense to do this, NEVER LET HER GO. Too many times women reach out to those people that are miserable or they don't have their best interest in mind. That's why a lot of the time I'm the go to guy for a lot of my female friends because they trust my input not only as someone who has their best interest in but also they know that I'm going to give the proper perspective of someone level headed. Like I said if you can find a woman that can do this very thing, then you my friend, have a winner on your hands.

11. There’s peace when dealing with her. Everything is not always a battle. She’s rarely ever combative. When you ask her a direct question, 95% of the time she gives you a direct answer. | This is another key thing to have when dealing with a woman. Most of the time us men, (and I can totally generalize in this case), will not know what the hell you're talking about most of the time. I use to think that I was one of the few to know when things were wrong and that when something needed to be done. But that may not be the case, I was humbled a couple of times and learned not to assume a lot of feelings that weren't there. This is one of the things that I actively look for when I'm dating a nice young lady; someone that's not going to give me a whole bunch of unnecessary arguments about literally nothing.

12. She has let you know what she wants in a relationship from the beginning and is HONEST about it. If she knows she wants to get married in the future, then she dates to marry. She doesn’t play any games about this. She doesn’t cross her fingers and hopes she can magically turn a serial playboy into a future husband. | I can say for the most part that I've personally never known any woman to date just for the hell of it. I can say that this is true for most women. So I have no problems with this statement at all. It's rare that you find a woman that says she wants to just be friends and actually mean it. The problem is actually getting the woman to admit what her motives are. That can be said about anyone actually, because at the end of the day, putting yourself out there isn't as easy as most think it is. Even if you're in a solid relationship.

13. What she asks for you to bring to the table, she can bring to the table as well. She wants you to be a good communicator? She’s one. She wants you active in the community? She is. She wants a God-fearing man? She’s a God-fearing woman. | This one I will agree with. Most of the time when you're dealing with someone that isn't ready to be with someone but scared to admit it, you will always have a lot of disconnect between the two of you. The one thing a woman who knows what she wants and who she is that she will always be that person that meets you at the table and does exactly what she says. Because come hell or high water, if she has to leave said table, then she will with no problem. That's because all of those things that she bought to the table and laid out only means that she tried her best and you simply didn't meet your end of the bargain.

14. If she has children from a previous relationship, she didn’t introduce them to you all willy-nilly. After she did a background check on you and began dating you with a future in mind, THEN and only then, she brought you around them. | I don't have any personal experience in the matter but I've seen a lot of times where this isn't the case. For some reason that's the first thing women do around here and they're so anxious about doing it too. It almost happened to me once and when I told her that wasn't a good idea, she got mad at me and stopped talking to me. People don't guard their kids these days as they should and if a woman does in fact take her time introducing you to her kids, it's because she's being smart about it and she's a great parent.

15. Texting is not her only form of communication with you. But she’s not a tight wad about it. She understands that it may be much easier and more fitting to shoot a text than to have a phone convo. | I don't see this as much of a problem if you live in the same city. But sometimes a text is the best thing and if she realizes this then she understands how you operate and won't make a big fuss over it because she knows she'll see you sooner than rather than later. But in terms of texting as a main form of communication, it's not really a big deal because if you're on your game then texting isn't going to be your thing either. But it's always nice to have that understanding right there for you.

16. Her butt and breasts are not all over social media. In 3 years at your bachelor’s party, your best man will not pull out his phone to show you a picture of her behind tooted up on her bathroom sink. | Hahaha, the whole wave of body posi going on all over social media seems to be the new thing. But trust me, I'm not interested in a woman that has her goods all over the internet and that's just my personal preference. So this is going to be one less thing that I have to worry about when I get older. Plus if my best man ever did something like that I would probably kill him and hang his body on a light pole with a note attached to it saying what he done and everyone will understand why I did it.

17. She acts like a lady and thinks like one too. She understands no man wants his woman thinking like him. | We all have places, a man should do the things that men should be doing for his woman and vice versa. While she may understand my mindset, I don't want her thinking like I do. This will also be a thing because she's not going to compromise herself for the sake trying to be more in tune for her man. She knows that she does certain things for a certain reason and that's where things should stay.

18. She’s not trying to change you when she introduces you to something new. She’s merely just keeping things interesting and your date life fun. | I agree with this wholeheartedly. A great woman isn't here to change you or mold you into the man that she wants, she simply wants to add to you. This type of woman will know what you won't try and what you're willing to try. This is another thing I can get behind because I've personally experienced it, (when I wasn't being a butt head). This is another thing if a woman shows you she can do, means you should keep her around.

19. She doesn’t play the “waiting game” but would never dare give you an ultimatum to marry her (See #12). She understands men are ready for marriage at a different pace. She may ask you about it and depending on the answer is when she makes a decision if needed. | This is also a great one because she knows that men aren't ready to jump the gun like most women are but at the same time she does just enough to nudge you along the right path. Once gain, as I said before, men are kind of slow when it comes to a lot of things, so it doesn't hurt when women nudges us along slowly but surely. I don't mind this one at all.

20. She’s your sounding board. You are free to talk about anything with her. You can throw ideas off her.  You can vent. You can complain about your bad day at work. You can express your anger, pain, hurt, happiness with her. | This is very true, but it has it's limitations. One of the unfortunate by products of my bad breakup was the revelation that I talked too much about me and didn't listen to enough of her. So it's key to have this but also with us men it's key to realize that it's about her just as much as it's about you. But the fact that she's a listener and realizes that men need that time to talk to is key as well.

21. If you’re a good man, she knows she’s winning with you. You never have to question if she appreciates you. | This is the the biggest and most important thing and a good woman will indeed acknowledge such things by subtle actions or out right saying it to your face. Most of the time when two people date, that's all they do. They don't take the time to get to know each other and see the good in the other person. I know women can see the potential in a man but most can't see when a man is making the effort or when he's not. So when she sees that you are a good man who's actually making an effort, that man has earned a rider for life. I have no problems backing this statement.

Most of these I have no problem with. Honestly if the lingo was different for the ones I disagreed with then I wouldn't have a problem with this list at all. For the most part you have to just know who your partner is after learning about yourself. If you manage to make it that far with a beautiful woman that knows who she is and what she brings to the table, then you're in it for the long haul. It's not going to be perfect every single day, (reasons why I disagreed with some), but in the end it will all be worth it.

What do you think about the list and my thoughts on each one? Leave it in the comments below; I'm interested in hearing what you have to say.

Until next time!

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