>> I Never Came Back ..

A hero to save the world,
A hero with no girl or no family.
Just sacrifice and some friends,
And struggle is the enemy.

- Kid Cudi

What can I say? I'm back .. but then again I'm not .. 

I already know by the end of this people will chalk this up to being a bitter blog and say I'm just going through one of my fits, but it's much more than just that. I'd advise you not to take this for face value, cause if you do, it will hurt more later down the road. Take heed into every word that is being said, and if you do, then maybe your common sense & rationality will let you understand where I am in life and what I'm going through and why I'm at this point. 

I will be the first to tell you that I'm a very bitter & distant person now. I dislike so many people in my life, and I dislike how the majority of it is going. I have no sanity & I have no more patience, the prime virtues that allowed me to get through even my roughest & toughest of days. I'm not even nice anymore, I just give the proper curtsy, only simply because that's what even person deserves until proven otherwise. I just despise doing anything nice for other people. I want to be selfish, I want it all for me, myself and I. I take that back, there are people and friends that actually cared and kept up with me, but I could count them on my hands, and I would still have four fingers I could use. 

I'm not here to do the same things I did before, that's why I joined the army in the first place, to change what I'm doing with my life and more importantly, change who the fuck I am. I joined to get away from the people that caused all this pain in my life. And it wasn't people that did things wrong, it was my friends who had behaviors that just irked me because they did shit to annoy me. But I didn't say anything because I'm there friend. I became way too passive. I let others do what they wanted to do, and even worse, I encouraged it. I wasn't a good friend or family member. 

But all that stops as of today, anything that annoys me, I'm speaking on, anything that pisses me off, I'm speaking on. I don't give a flying fuck if it cost me friendships or potential girlfriends. Cause you get offended enough to leave, then you weren't a friend in the first place. I'm in no way shape or form saying that I'm better than anyone or think that I am, I'm just going to set you straight so that I feel better in MY life, I don't give a damn what you do when you're not around me or talking to me, cause that's not, but while you're with me, there's certain stuff I don't want around me. & like I said, if you don't like it, you can leave me the hell alone. Just being honest & real. 

And on the topic of who I talk to, well there is no topic, cause there is no one. No one on my mind, no one of interest, no one period. I'm tired of boring conversations, I'm tired of the one word text messages, I'm tired of having to say ignorant shit just to seem interesting. I'm tired of trying and either not getting the results I want, or not getting anything at all. I find it complete and utter bullshit that a guy like me, has to break an arm and a leg just to get some kind of attention. I'm not with it anymore. I'm fuckin done, like the level of anger that I feel for my time being wasted that much is ridiculous, so go back to your hood rat baby daddy, those not having job dudes, and those lame asses who still look like a Dem Franchise Boy member. I'm not one, nor do I want a girl that is interested in that kind of guy. I'm taking all that nice shit I use to do away, no more texts checking up on you, no more good morning and good night texts, no more efforts to call you, none of that shit. My time is valuable, I work too damn much just to waste my free time on nothing. That's not how it's going down. 

But the sad truth of this is that no one will really read this and then just start assuming stuff about me when they go and try and talk to me and they don't get the same reaction that they always did. I don't care about what you have, how much money is in your bank account, or what the hell you look like. That shit doesn't do anything for me, doesn't pay my bills or get my dick hard. I don't want your money or you pussy. I want my money, and my things. Honestly I just want tot be left the hell alone. Just the thought of what's going on with the people around me just irritates the shit out of me. There's so much that I can say, but I'm not going to, I'm just going to leave it alone. 

So I'll just bump my Kid Cudi out my iPhone & I'll just sit in my thoughts.

Cause that's all I need ..

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