Relationships | The Real Test of Patience, Self Growth & Love


I've been noticing a lot lately a lot of people either breaking up or going through some kind of struggle within a relationship and making it public matter. Which can mean only one thing, it's getting warmer. What correlation does the weather and relationships have with each other, nothing at all, I just wanted to mess with some people who took me serious enough to believe it just now. Well for the older people serious about their life it just means more fun in the sun, young people see a piece of thigh and want to go to the buffet immediately. That was something I heard an uncle say one time. But I digress, a lot of people seem to say that no one believes in love and in relationships, everyone wants what is quick and easy, basically benefiting them. And that statement is absolutely true.

Think about this, we live in an age where a guy from Oregon can get on twitter, start a conversation with someone from Iceland, and in a couple of weeks those same people could meet with the help of cheap airline tickets and fall in love. It has happened many times over, probably happening at this very moment and you not even realize it. But with that comes one very dangerous thing, people don't practice enough patience and conviction to stick around and make it work, one argument and they are up and gone back to where they came from without hesitation. Why is it so easy for them to leave and not look back? Because they have the same tools at their disposal to find someone else who will go along with what they want out of a relationship until they find that submissive one who does every single thing they like.

What happened to the days where a spat or argument resulted in talking and a coming together for the greater good of the relationship because you know that's the person who you're going to be with. When a man could do little small gestures to remind the woman why he loves her and only her. Or a woman just roll over and realize that she loves that man no matter what and give him a kiss and something as simple as that let's him know that everything is ok. But we live in a world where texting an ex is all but so easy and the thoughts of nothing being forever runs so rampant.

People tend to forget that the ideal of love is not just that everything will be ok and no problems will ever occur. When in fact, struggles and hard times will always be prevalent in everyday life. It's just the manner in which those two people who decided to come together, deal with it, as one. There's going to be mornings where a tire is flat, where a kid is throwing up on your work shirt, or you actually get to work and people who aren't happy. It's just how the person you are with reacts to that situation. And honestly its a task because sometimes you want to be comforted and told that everything is going to be ok, and other times you just want to talk trash about the event or the people involved. That's where the whole notion of actually knowing your partner comes into play. That's one of the missing elements as well, actually knowing the person.  But there are important things that people take lightly or forget all together. I wanted to run down a couple off the top of my head that are important to me.

1. Communication | This is perhaps the number one thing that people mention when they talk about what makes the relationship turn. The most important part if you will. I was told time after time after time, if you can't sit down and talk to the person that you're suppose to be able to share everything with, then what really is the point of dating that person. Now granted you're not going to be talking to that person about every single thing that goes on in the beginning but in time you'll be able to know what you can and can't share. But you should be able to feel comfortable enough to come to the person that you are with and tell them things that you feel are wrong and be able to sit down and talk it out and have an open discussion while coming to a solution. Without this there pretty much that you can't do to evolve the relationship and evolve yourselves.

2. Understanding | No two people are alike on this planet, with that being said, you have to be open to realizing that everyone does things at a different speed than you do. Meaning some people are more receptive to problems and criticisms within a relationship, while others are not. This is where patience comes into play as well because something's will take more out of you to meet the other person halfway in the relationship than the other things. The point of getting into a relationship with another person is to see beyond just your point of life. It's to understand their thought process and take that information and guide them to better in do time. With this you'll begin to understand yourself more as well, this isn't just about understanding the other person, this is more so about you and your abilities. You might be an impatient person, and learn the value of patience, or you might be a head strong person and learn the importance of slowing things down and just relax. Understanding what things are and realizing what they mean is very, very important.

3. Admitting You're Wrong | This one is probably one of the harder things to do while in a relationship, well because honestly a lot of people don't like to admit when they are wrong about things, ever. Being able to see that you were being a dumb ass or a jerk about a situation can really take you a long way when it involves your significant other. If you have the mindset of thinking that admitting you're wrong is the same as admitting defeat, then you have a long road ahead of you to go. Admitting you're means you know you were wrong and actually know what it takes to make things right. Saying you were wrong for the hell of it and thinking you're right isn't going to do anything but harbor bad feelings and animosity that isn't needed, thus creating tension and stress. Admitting you're wrong goes back to understanding your partner because you know basically know what's right and wrong when it comes to them. Realizing that you're wrong and wanting to work through it is a big, big, big step towards growing as a person and connecting with someone for a greater good.

4. Hard Work | This is the thing to me that gets lost in the fray of a relationship. People these days are so intent on leaving a situation quick fast and in a hurry that they forget that the problems that they face wont go away because they get rid of the person that they are with. Now if you are continuously going through the same problems and nothing is ever working out then I am all for you moving on. But sometimes the judging of what that time length or the effort that is put into it is often not measured in the correct way. Sometimes people give up to early, and sometimes people give up way too late. But for the most part people run away at the fist sign of trouble more than so. Sometimes working hard means taking a step back, looking at the situation with fresh eyes and then going back right into it. If that person that you are with is worth the trouble, you will find a way to make it work, and make it better. No one is perfect, and you will realize this and you will also know when you come out of this situation that you will be a better person. That is the goal of hard work, knowing that the pay off is greater than the situation or circumstances you are faced with at the moment. hard work is the culmination of communication, understanding and admitting when things are going wrong. In the end this will be one of, if not the saving grace of your relationship.

5. Love | And finally we have the main thing that gets behind everything that I mention and pushes it to success. If two people are together out of true love then nothing will stop their love from pushing them to greatness. Everyday is not sunny, and everyday is not rainy, love knows this and that's the main factor that reminds people no matter how hard the times get or high they reach, love will always be there to remind them that everything will be alright because its coming from two people who want to be together and want to achieve heights they could've never imagined. Love will always bring them back to solid ground if they so ever get off it. Sometimes people need to just sit back and remember why they are there with each other every so often. This will allow you to remember what you're doing there and the goals and hopes you have for being with that person.

To me those are just some of the things that make a relationship tick and keep things going in the direction of happiness. There are many, many other reasons that can keep things ticking between people because all relationships aren't the same. So I just picked some stuff that all relationships could relate too . if there is something else you would like to add to the list I'm interested in hearing it, just leave your feedback in the comments section. Later guys.
  1. This hit the nail on the head Devon! Relationship Management is definitely a process, and the farther we allow ourselves to stray from the essence of who we are as indivuals, the harder it will be to grasp the importance of what truly 'is'...What things are, and what they seem, are two completely different things. Heart tells you one thing...mind says another. How do you decide?
    (Anna P.)


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