2014: Restoration


I think 2014 was meant to humble me in so many ways.

The main propose of this blog is to inform other people of my mistakes and hope they take away from them a positive message. Too many times in this day and age people tend to fake it til they make it, and in the process they taken advice from people who don't really know what they are talking about themselves, so in turn, they give bad advice. I simply wish to retell situations or events in my life that I feel strongly about and want to get off my chest. In essence, that's the whole purpose of blogging or just writing in general; to inform a person on a topic they feel strongly about. Therefore I tend to put pure honesty into each post that I write, I don't want to hold back any emotions that I feel because that would be short changing you, the reader, and I don't want to do that.

I say all of that to say this, I had a lot coming into this year, but during the course of this year, I lost almost everything. For a person such as myself, I've spent the latter of my life acquiring things that I typically didn't have, nor had the chance to when I was a child. So for me to literally lose almost all of that, plus friendships that I really cherished, was a life changing experience. If you follow my blog you know how I entered therapy and how well it's been to me from a mental standpoint. There are a lot of things that I talked about in there that probably won't make it to see the light of day, but it was greatly needed from the standpoint of being able to grow more and move past situations that plagued me for years.

I urge anyone to go to therapy because you never know what could be affecting you on a subconscious level.

But to go from having a lot and never having to worry about certain aspects to having everything in the world to worry about is an eye opener. I'll admit that initially I didn't handle any situation well, I took it out on my close friends, I became distant with my family and I took it out on the one person that I promised that I would never do that to, my ex. Then I entered a place of loneliness where I just secluded myself from everyone and just wallowed in my sorrows. I just gave up for a long time, and that's something I've never done in my life.

But as it was pointed out to me by one of my friends who physically came and saw me that I human, I can't be so hard on myself to get everything right the first time. She told me that if anyone knows the value in failure and learning from those mistakes, it's me. And that's the point where I took some time to come to my senses enough to go to therapy because I knew a change had to be made before I proceeded on with anything I did in my life. And as I've mentioned numerous times here on this blog, that was the best decision of my life. I credit my ex-girlfriend for being diligent in the fact that she knows everyone needs help no matter how minuscule it may seem.

But that was just the first part of the lesson of humbling Devon.

The second part actually just came recently where I was sort of back sliding to things that I was doing before and I had to snap myself out of it real quick because I didn't truly grasp the depths of my words. I know that sounds crazy, a guy who blogs and writes for constantly doesn't realize the depths of his own words. I'm not here to make excuses by any means, I'm here to admit the truth, and the truth is, I'm a dumbass when it comes to that one matter. I saw the error in my ways when it happened and I just had to be quiet for a while. My cousin actually had to break it down for me to fully grasp and understand the situations at hand.

I was so use to doing things my way and having things that I worked hard for that I didn't realize I started to feel entitled to things. I mean a person should always expect results when they work hard for something, it's only when they start feeling like they deserve something every single time just because they feel like they're doing right. That will never be ok, that will never be acceptable. I've spent years of my life always busting my ass and getting places because I stayed humble, stayed aware, and stayed hungry. If something didn't work out, I kept it pushing; I didn't dwell or fell sorry for myself for more than a couple of days, if that. The reason for that being I knew that if something didn't work out, it wasn't meant to and something else better deserved my attention.

That's just a part of life.

But like I said, I didn't see that, and God took it upon himself to send me a little friendly reminder for most of the year that I need to calm down and get my mind right. It's just a reminder that you can have everything and feel fine one minute and then God will come and take it all away if you're taking it for granted or starting to abuse it. And the crazy thing about that is it could be something as small as your favorite pen or it could be someone you love, no matter what He decides to take, you just need to be ready to accept your mistakes and be open to work at bettering yourself.

When people make New Year resolutions they tend to say that typical line of, "New Year, New Me", I'm not going to say that because it doesn't apply to me. It's more so, "New Year, Old Me", with some tweaks. I've already started with the process about a month ago and it's getting better every single day. I'm actually glad because I'm getting ahead of my plans for a couple of things that I've had planned for next year and that's pretty awesome to say the least.

If you have anything that's been burdening you this year, just take the time to reflect, analyze what went wrong and just make adjustments. It's not the end of the world, if you don't let it be. You have to go out and get it, you have to believe you can get it, most importantly; you have to trust in the process of getting it. Don't let any situation keep you down for too long, there's always a way around, over or through it. Seek therapy; it helps, trust me I know.

What plans do you have for 2015? Do you wish to change things, leave some here in 2014?
Have you made changes this year and have gotten better and looking to get better this year? Let me know in the comments below.

Until next time guys.

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