2015: Retaliation

At some point this year my moves became very deliberate.

I don't know when that was nor do I care. I just know that at that defining moment, things completely changed for me in the best way possible. It was probably because I was fed up, it was probably because I was tired of being sad and depressed all of the time, or it was more than likely because I was tired of being tired. Either way it goes, a change came and I was finally ready for that moment. I've been saying to myself for years that the day will come when I'll be ready to leave useless attachments behind and when that day came I will focus solely on me and my wants out of this world.

2015 bought that moment and God decided I was ready.

Last year I wrote my end of the year blog 2014: Restoration and it was definitely an eye opener. Last year I dealt with my anxiety, depression and financial situations head on. While two of my biggest problems depression and anxiety were handled, my third problem dealing with finances wasn't solved until recently. I mean I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but looking back on December 2014 and comparing it with this year, I definitely made significant strides. I'm actually pretty proud of who I am at the current moment seeing as how last year this time I was struggling to keep a roof over my head and other assortment of problems.

I kept working hard and never stop having the faith, and here I am.

There wasn't a lot of things I tried this year, but I definitely did try some and they all failed for the most part. Most were one off kind of deals and the others were those "ok I'll give them one more chance" types. So I guess this feeling of sliding into being selfish with my time and love has naturally progressed into who I am at the current moment. I know for a fact that when I was sliding backwards and I was in the midst of feeling sorry for myself for no reason at all, my good friend and collaborator Melanie came to me with one of the simplest, yet most potent messages:

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted 
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
- Psalms 34:18

When she uttered that verse to me, my life wasn't the same. That was back on September the 15th, I still have the text messages. For some reason when I read that verse at the moment when I was just down in that gutter because things weren't working out, I automatically felt the weight lift off my shoulders and chest. At that moment is when I became better at everything, and I started having a clearer vision. Couple that with the fact that God always shows you what you need to see, when you need to see it the most, and you have me primed and ready to make a new path for myself.

Honestly, more than anything, I'm really pissed off now that I think about it. I've been telling people on my twitter, (shameless plug here), that your time is precious, you don't have to spend it with people that seek to waste it or use it for their own personal gratification. The one thing that I did right this year was network with a whole bunch of beautiful black women who are about their business. Not only did that, the ones that were already in my life came roaring back around in full support of my blogging endeavors.

In short, 2015 I came on a full on assault and God gave me the proof that he is real.

There are a couple of things that I'm working on to make myself a better person in the new year and my 30th year of living coincidentally lol. But that doesn't matter because I came to this point due to a natural progression and that's just the way that I want it. My goals are looking great, my outlook on life is looking great and all things considered I made it through 2015 without being shot by a police officer. I've had a pretty great year. Add that with all of my blogging goals being reached and surpassed and you have one great year in most peoples standards.

But yet I'm not most people and I always raise my goals.

2016 is going to be a huge year because I'm focusing on several different aspects that all lead back to me. I'm not starting anything at the new year and I'm not starting anything that has the word resolution attached to it. I've started my way of new thinking back in October if we're being real here. I gave some people til this month to make something with their self in my life and they didn't do anything with the opportunity, so I chucked them to the wayside. I'm not stressing anything about that either because I would like to think that I never lost a friend a day in my life; think about that if you're someone I know and we don't talk anymore.

Like Cudi said too "I use to save their number just in case, but now it's case closed".

I'm not going to go too much into that line, but you get the gist. I'm going to end it here and say that 2015 was one hell of a ride and that there the growth here on the blog is real. I have some major goals that I requires that I step away to plan and execute, but I was talked into at least giving monthly updates about what I'm doing and how things are going with me because people actually like my blog and what I have to say lol. Reluctantly I've agreed to it because I at least owe it to the people who still read daily and who still shares my content on social media.

You guys are definitely the real MVP's here.

So with much love from me to you, I hope the new year treats you right and I hope you leave all that pains and hurts you in 2015 and do better for yourself in 2016.

See you guys next year!

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