"You make me happy".
That's one of the most terrifying statements to make to someone in their life.
One of the
things that has always intrigued in regards to finding a partner for the rest of
your life is that people have this standard of not wanting to be someone's
everything. Like they say "I never want to be the source of one's happiness" or
"I never want to be someone's everything, I'd prefer to just be something that
adds value to their life". The common fear is that someone makes you their
everything and then their whole life becomes you; always texting, calling,
thinking and even sometimes wanting to just to be near you so they could breathe
the very air that you breathe. Now I will admit that is crazy as all out doors
and no one should ever think like that, and if they honestly think that's ok,
then they might want to seek help.
Now while that is
crazy, there is actually a whole different way of making someone your world.
Now while I don't
agree with the aforementioned craziness of making someone your everything that
way, I believe there is the healthy way of making someone your everything. When
I think of marriage and a family, they are your everything, period. There's no
such thing as self in a marriage because when you decide that you want to be
with someone for the rest of your life, you have already decided to incorporate
that person into your daily routine because they bring added value off gate.
That person's impact on your life is so significant that you literally cannot
see yourself being without that person, and that's ok. That person that brings
value to your life is not looking to control you and they're not looking to
complete you in any sense of the word.
A significant
other, to me, is a person that sees you for who you are and who you have the
potential to be based off what you have expressed your desires in life to be. A
significant other HELPS you to your full potential, not try to create a life for
you that they see in their head, and that's what a lot of people don't
understand about relationships. Relationships are to help, not hinder, to grow,
not stifle, and to understand, not judge. When you become someone's whole world
it's because they love you for who you are and that makes them happy. The only
thing that they try their best to control about you would be in regards to your
happiness. They learn every single thing that you like to do that makes you
happy, and once they figure that out, they try their best to create and
environment for happiness.
A lot of people
can't grasp the concept of someone saying "you make me happy" without belting
out the normal rhetoric "I don't want to be the sole reason that you're happy"
and you are not the soul reason why you make them happy, get over yourself. When
a person says, "you make me happy" or "you make my day better" it's not to cross
you up or say that you are their everything, it's what it sounds like, you are
another source of happiness. If you have commitment issues and you don't really
know what to say to that, then say that versus saying something that you don't
really know why you're saying it.
At the end of the
day it goes back to the whole deal where I always preach that you should know
YOUR partner because you're the only one that can make decisions based off first
hand accounts. If you know that person is dependent on you for their soul
happiness in life, then run for the hills. But if there is someone who has their
own life and own goals and they say that you make them happy, well you should
probably relish in the fact that you add value to someone's life that already
has a ton of value in it already.
But hey that's
just me and my way of thinking on the matter, what about you? What do you think
about someone saying that you are their everything? I'm interested to hear in
the comments below.
Until next time
guys!
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