The Dangers of Dating


I'm trying to get me a real woman to take out,
But for now, they're wild,
They rather get it in.
- Wale

Hmm, I'm really trying to figure out an angle to go about this whole ordeal. Dating to me has never really, how do I say this, fruitful. I know there's a whole process of dating and that you should enjoy the company of other people and all of that other jazz. But it's kind of like annoying these days. I haven't really been in the dating scene really for about a good three and a half years. I went into a relationship with my last ex without actually dating around because she was that awesome. But now that I'm out of my funky little mood and ready to actually be sociable with my female counterparts, I find that things have changed, a lot, and not really for the best.

Now I do take into account the demographics in which I'm trying to date, and I do take in the geography as well, because that does matter. Also there are my current situations that I have going on, which include but not limited to, school, working a full time job, running a full time blog and trying to be around more for my family and close friends. So with all of that taken into account, my time is very limited, therefore it's very precious to me. So when someone comes along and it doesn't work out for the simplest of reasons, it's not only annoying, it's a bit draining. But that's the win/lose aspect of things when it comes to dating, you never know what you're going to get it with it.

I'm always asked these days’ two questions, one being why am I not married. This is usually the follow up question to do I have any kids, a direct response to my answer for that question. Now the both of those questions are a bit annoying because, well I don't really like answering any questions about my life to people and I don't really like having to explain myself in any facet of life for something that deals with personal decisions that affect me and me only. But that's how life is setup these days; people are nosey for no good reason. I know the difference between genuine care and interest, and most of it isn't.

Now with all of that being said, I am picky with whom I'm even attracted to. Most people think that I'm like the average dude and like all women, or they think that since I'm 28 I'm some kind of man whore because I'm old with no family. Both of those could be the furthest thing from the truth. The little known thing here is that I already went through processes in life at an early age, and saw some pretty bad results from people that do certain things in life that others would deem "just a phase". I've never felt the need to go through those phases because I'm not that kind of person. I've also dated a lot in my younger days and I know how that lifestyle goes as well. In short, I know what's out there, and I know that it's not for me, so I don't get pleasure in doing it.

The thing here is that I went through a natural progression of life and I've matured into knowing what I want in terms of dating and what I want to subjugate myself to. Most people, for one reason or another, can't understand what I'm saying when I say that because they haven't arrived at that point in life, and probably never will. That's all fine and dandy because that's their life, but when it starts seeping into my life what they think I should, is when I start feeling annoyed. Honestly I don't want marriage or kid’s at this point in life, what I honestly want is just to have fun with one woman who knows what she wants and has things going on in her own life. I just want a woman who wants to have fun and wants to just chill and do things just with me.

That's called a relationship folks.

I realized that I've always rushed into things and pushed the envelope on a lot of relationships because I was either not happy with myself or I didn't know what I wanted out of life at the moment. Those days of not knowing are pretty much over and I'm moving on to the next step of life. Now am I sitting here saying that I will never get married or not have kids, no I am not. I'm simply saying that at this one moment in life I'm just looking to have fun and let something grow into something more. I'm not into timetables and I'm not into living life how society says I should live it. I'm in it for me and what I want to do.

Now when I get into a relationship will I still am about me, of course I will be. That's the missing element in all of this; it's what I want to do with my time and life. I always over dedicated too much time to my relationships, and spent too much time wrapped up in the other person. At this point if something works out, it works out, if it doesn't, hey that's life, not going to beat myself up and jump off a bridge. That's code for not wanting to rush into anything anymore, and as soon as I decided that, I was being rushed into things too soon or not really much effort was there. But hey, that's life, it's not meant to be balanced and it's not meant to be easy.

This post was just mainly about me wanting to semi vent about what's going on in my dating life and how down it is at the moment, I know things will get better, just at the moment I'm a bit frustrated and annoyed with what's going on lol. What are some things that go on within dating that annoys you or wish would be different? Leave a comment below in the comments section.

Until next time guys.

4 comments

  1. My BF & I have been together for 2 years but I couldn't imagine dating with the Internet & Tinder. It seems, from what friends say, that it's a lot harder to find someone who actually wants a relationship. Hang in there!

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    1. This is true, so much access to other people around the world that it's hard to find that one person who wants something of substance, but thanks for the advice. I can only keep hope alive :)

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  2. I feel ya! I'm the same way--with medical school taking over most of my life, I barely have time, so I want to spend that limited free time I do have with awesome people. I'm also super picky because I know what I want in a person, and if they don't enhance my life in any way/I don't enjoy his company (+ vice versa), I don't really see much of a point to it. I think it's really hard to meet people these days too--dating apps seem to be just for hookups and it's hard to find people who want an actual relationship vs. a no-commitment type of deal. Kinda depressing, but I'm still holding out some hope! :P

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    1. Yea there are a lot of things working against people who really want to date for the purpose of getting to know someone. I usually look at it like just starting friendships because you know typically where it can go from there and if it doesn't workout in the form of a relationship, there is always that friendship. Granted all great relationships are founded off friendships, I think the approach has been lost in today's world because of said dating apps and people looking just to hook up.

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