Destroy And Rebuild

Sometimes in order to keep your sanity and spiritual well being up to par, you have to start all over.

I learned a long time ago that the majority of people that you meet are just for a season and others are just there for a certain amount of time until they fade out and you just speak when you see them around. As I grew older and since of maturity has filled my life I realized that it's probably for the best that it's like that. There are a lot of people that grow and there are a lot of people that simply don't, that's common knowledge. What's not told is that even if a person grows it doesn't necessarily mean that they grow in the direction that you're growing. People usually put the emphasis on all of the people that don't grow and tend to make a ruin of their own life so you have to stop being in the same area of life as them. Never is it told that even though two people are progressing, you have to also leave that person because what they're progressing towards isn't what you're trying to obtain, because believe it or not, other people's dreams can drain you and stop you from achieving yours.

A lot of people know this to be true, that's why they have the internal struggle of moving on from someone who has helped them so much and has helped them grow.  Sometimes you have to step out there alone and just grow alone away from the people that have helped you. And that's not a bad thing either, it's called spreading your wings and getting things done for yourself, by yourself. That's apart of the maturation process into adulthood, and most don't see that next step. Sometimes you grow apart for good and just realize that there's a mutual level of respect and sometimes you grow apart only to come back together again when you reach where you want to be in life. Anyone who shames you for trying to spread your wings and grow into something better based off your own merits isn't the type of person you want to be around anyways. The people that support you will always support anything that you decide to do, no matter how much it pains them.

But we're not here to talk about the process of spreading your wings away from your support system, no we're here to talk about those people that aren't beneficial to your life, aka the dead weight.

There is this thing that I do where I go through my phone and delete the numbers of people I don't need around anymore in any capacity. I did this routinely once every six months basically from 2006 to about late 2013. The reason I stopped in 2013 was because I was in a real serious relationship that made me barely touch my phone for no other reason other than to talk to family and close friends. So I didn't really need to do it then because I didn't really pay that much mind to the people that were a waste of time. And from early 2014 all the way til about later that year I wasn't really talking to much people because I was trying to get my head back together and focused on my goals. So basically for a good year and a half I didn't really entertain people and I just kind of kept to myself.

But that all changed when I decided to venture back out and about again.

I'm a very fickle person, kind of. Like I want to laugh, joke, and do all things fun, but on the same hand I don't want to do them with people that suck. And when I say suck I mean those people that always complain, start drama, overly do things and just basically get on my nerves. So most of the time I do things alone because there's only a few people that are in tune with my personality and understands the type of fun that I like to have. I don't just up and stop talking to those people, I just shy away until I'm ready to have their type of fun, and that usually brings backlash upon myself because I'm seen as being distant. That annoys me to the utmost, so if it's not people that are really my homies, they get the boot with the quickness.

Then there comes the matter of female relations and how I deal with them. The only rule that I have in regards to that is that if you aren't really cool and funny, you get the boot. The only way honestly they stay is if it matures naturally into a friendship kind of deal, which I have no problem with. But most of the time it doesn't happen that way and the communication just stops on my end. Then a couple of months later, (if I haven't changed my number already by then), I usually get the hey stranger text, which I promptly ignore and carry on about my life. I usually cut all communication off because it's not fair to the next young lady that's trying to do right. I'm not one of those people that feel I owe anyone that I don't have the desire to talk to any sort of communication, because once it's done, it's done.

Kicking people out of my life and stopping all communication is essential my growth process for the simple fact that I learned a lesson from a person that isn't going to teach me anything else. I usually tell people that I'm done with them before I stop talking to them though, I at least give them that respect. But after that, if they choose to believe me or not, it's up to them to follow suit. I say all that to say this, if you have people that bring about feelings of stress, annoyance, anger or grief, then it's time to put them on the chopping block and move on with your life. There are billions of other people in this world so it's not hard to imagine there are actually people out there that are willing to come into your life and be awesome. It's completely up to you if that's going to happen or not and no one else is going to change that.

I've met some pretty cool people by completely destroying everything and then rebuilding it with them. So don't be scared to step out there with a lawn chair and watch everything burn to the ground, there are always hammers and nails to build everything back up again, on your own accord.

What do you think about the process of destroying and rebuilding? Do you agree or disagree? Leave it in the comments below.

Until next time guys!

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