Stay Low & Build


Sometime long ago on twitter, the notion of staying low and building was presented. Of course it was met with much ridicule and mockery, but could that person who bought it up have a valid point? Could the man that everyone jumped on and called stupid and insecure, have a valid case and point for staying out of the spotlight? Could this man who was a considered a clown actually might be a genius in disguise? OK I'm overdoing it with all of these questions, but you get my drift lol.

But you know what they say, even a fool is right at least once in their life.

I should point out that the guy who made the popular hash tag trend actually got caught using a single mom for her stuff while building a relationship with the child, then dipping when he got caught messing around with other women. That's something I will never condone because of the child and what not, things like this make me understand the few single mother's who try to do right are not willing to just date any old body. So when he made the initial statement I was laughing like everyone else, but then my laughing turned into a serious thought about how this could be flipped on the good side.

We are living in an age where literally anything that you do can be found out through a couple of mouse clicks. There is no such thing as privacy anymore, well unless you live on a remote island or your home doesn't have any kind of electronics inside of it and you don't live in an area where someone would sneak in and plant cameras all around your home to see why you're so secretive. But beyond that, someone you know somewhere will eventually see you out and about in public and someone somewhere will tweet, Facebook or Instagram about seeing you in public, as much as I try to hide from the public eye myself, even I know that it's inevitable.

But why is staying low and building with someone such a good thing? Well here are my reasons:

1. No Drama Zone | Let's face it, in today's day and age everyone has something smart to say when they find out that you're dating someone that at the very least has your attention. A lot of old boo's, work, exes, whoever feel like you owe them something in some form when they see that you've moved on. I mean granted you don't have to even acknowledge their existence and block them into oblivion. Staying low offers a shield of sorts that doesn't let them know you're back out there and interested in someone that is not them. Sometimes when someone finds out and starts to hit you up it kind of pushes you towards that new person who you might not even like that much because lets face it, we are human and we can be influenced on the littlest of levels in our decision making state. Don't be one of those people who rush into something just to get away from another situation.

2. Wiggle Room | Getting to know each other is a very sensitive stage and a crucial one at that. If it ultimately fails and doesn't work out, then you both can simply go about your separate ways without everyone asking what happened? There is nothing more annoying than all of your friends chiming in with that "oh I liked them, you should probably work it out", well you're not the one dating them and you're not the one who has to spend time with them, so maybe just maybe they aren't good for me in terms of a relationship. Those conversations rank among the most annoying ones to have because most of the time people feel like they know you so they have some kind of say so on the decisions you make in life. Um no, just no. To avoid this, the staying low part allows you to have that space required if it simply just doesn't work out and you guys need to part ways amicably and quietly.

3. No Pressure | The other benefit of having some kind of wiggle room is that no one knows anything about you guys so you don't get pressured into staying in something that you might bot be feeling. The only people that will ultimately put pressure on this if you decide to stay low is you and the other person. You know your standards and what you want out of something, so when things are headed towards being serious you don't have to worry about being preached to about the things that don't even matter from people that don't even know what is going on in the relationship. The only pressure that you will face will be in the form of your own vices or external factors beyond your control. But other than that, you win here by people not projecting their desires for your relationship goals.

4. Quality Time | The greatest result of staying low and then working on building is that you get to actually spend quality time with the person. You guys get to do a lot of stuff together without people wanting to constantly know how it's going between the both of you. If you have a pretty decent group of friends, eventually they're going to keep asking questions about the person to the point where they will nag you about meeting them. Staying low and building with just that one person allows you guys to get to know each other more than you know without having to put on for social media or your circle. This is the time for just the two of you and the two of you only.

5. The Dating Pool | The best quality about all of this, (if you both are adults about this dating thing), is that you get to keep on dating other people. Just because you find someone that you like and you want to get to know more doesn't mean that you have to stop dating. I use to do that where I found someone I wanted to get to know and then I stopped dating and then it turned out that the chick I was getting to know, I didn't really like. Although you are intrigued by this individual, you don't want to sell your stocks just yet. The natural progression here will eventually see your options dwindle until it's just them you're looking at, but anything before then or things naturally going that route, I wouldn't suggest stopping.

Those are my reasons as to why staying low and building might work in the early stages of getting to know someone. That's just me though, if you don't really care about people being all in your business then you can go ahead and announce to every single person that this is who you are talking to and just roll with the punches. I think the big thing with staying low and building initially is the intimacy that you create with other person when getting to know them, that can easily go south if the littlest of infringements come into play and disrupts the flow.

What do you think about staying low and building? Is it a real thing to you or is it something that just isn't viable in your mind? Let me know in the comments below.

Until next time guys!

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