My Way Or The Highway

 
To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve.

And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish.

Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don't isolate.
- Michael Jordan

I think I've finally hit that zone where I want to be selfish.

I'm in that awkward place where I don't really feel like being bothered, where my goals and dreams are starting to collide, and I'm starting to become more impatient as the days progress. Now I'm nearing the great age of 30 and while that might terrify most people, I'm actually excited. 30 is that magic number where people feel the pressure of having to get everything in order and settle down, you know that thing called adulthood. But I'm simply not ready for that phase of life anymore; well at least that's how I feel today. Today's world is different from when I grew up as a kid in the late 80's and early 90's, well even the early 00's. The thing with me was that I thought I was ready to settle down and have a whole family and ready to become a dad and loving husband.

I'm so glad I dodged that bullet.

Now that is not what it sounds like, I'm not throwing any kind of salt towards those that are married with children and all that jazz. I'm simply saying for ME, I'm glad that I didn't stop and just settle down when I thought that was what I wanted. I know for a fact that I'm meant to do awesome things with my life such as seeing the world and certain things get in the way of that. I know I'm not really making this sound too great in terms of relationships and what not, but for me it makes sense. Finding oneself is the most important part of being ready for relationships and marriages, now granted you won't ever truly find the full version of you, but you can come close enough. For me finding myself really starts now, and that's very exciting to me. I know that it's my time because a lot of the things that I use to entertain from people, I simply can't anymore. All of the things that I tolerated just because I thought that I had to because life isn't always the way we want it to be, I just don't.

I wake up every day looking for a way to make MYSELF happy.

I guess you can say that's one the things that I needed to do to come to the full fruition of being Devon. One of the things that I realized that knocked me down a level or two was the fact that I stopped doing what I wanted to do, I stopped going to the places I wanted to go, therefore I stopped being me. I'm not going to get into that whole ordeal because that's going to be like beating a dead topic into the ground but for the sake of understanding, being selfish is the best thing  for me that I could do right now. Now of course I'm not going to turn down things just for the sake of turning them down, life is fluid so I could very well end up married well before the end of the year because that's what God wants for me. No what I'm saying now is that my time is precious and I refuse to spend it on people that aren't going to enhance my life.

A lot of people like to complain, they like to make big deals out of things that don't matter to me at all, and I'm not here for it anymore. This is what people were scared of, a fully awake Devon, and by that I mean being hip to the bullshit. I'm finally at a point where I can be completely alone and still be happy. That's just life, when you get to a point where you just want to minimize the stupidity and get away from all the people steadily complaining and not doing anything about life, you take it in your hands for the better. And I will be the first to admit that it feels GREAT to take back control of something that is rightfully yours. I look at the time different, I smell the air differently, my eyes see the blue sky in a different manner, and life is just different. Tuning out all of the people that don't matter and pulling in all of the ones that do matter is a great feeling because they bring great vibes.

The whole point of this post isn't to bash anyone or throw jabs at any particular lifestyle. It's simply about being able to live life the way it was intended for you to live. Gone are all of those standards that society has placed on us to make it seem like success or failure, and here are the days where living each and every single day as if it's the last day that I could be here. Cherishing me time right now is the most important thing that I could do because it will make me a better husband and father. So I say to those lost in the sauce or feeling the pressures of having to have certain things by a certain age because of society, don't feel obligated to do things their way. We live in an age where doing things and seeing the world can be done in such ease that not taking advantage of it should be considered a crime.

At the end of the day, being a better you means being a better human being for others, you have to take that time for yourself to be able to give your all later down the road of life for someone else. Life man, I don't know what else to say beyond that it's getting better for me each and every single day. I'm thankful for the good Lord for showing me that time and patience are a real thing in terms of personal growth, and that he has been taking care of me like he said he would.

Until next time guys.