Reminiscing With The Past

So this blog is a result of a conversation between two adults not really doing anything at that current moment lol. We actually talked about a lot of things, one of them being the fact that we learned a lot in the last ten years. That's basically the time we left home and ventured on to college, and for me the military afterwards. We talked about some of the trials and tribulations that we dealt with and we overcame, and out of that came the question of the day; "If I could talk to my younger self, what would I say?".

I am very hesitant of these questions because I am a firm believer of not messing with the past because the future could change so much. You know that whole analogy where you throw a whole rock in the pond and the ripples spread out larger and further than you could imagine. I've met some pretty cool people through a lot of my failures and mistakes, and my blog is probably the biggest result of me making failures and mistakes in my life. I mean if I didn't really have any, what would I write about? That was my response to that question at the time, but I would be lying to you guys if I said it wasn't still on my mind. So to ease that line of questioning I decided to make a list of things I would tell myself if I HAD to tell myself something's to do better with my life at that moment, this is what I would say: 

1. Although you absolutely hate the idea of college, school is going to be one of your biggest tools. I know you don't like waking up for those classes & you absolutely loathe having to take full loads, but it will be worth it in the end. You're doing it by yourself and that's alright too, a lot of people are in your same situation, don't feel alone. You know you're smart and you can do anything, just take it a little bit more serious will ya?

2. There are a lot of unhappy people in this world, and I mean a lot of them. They typically fall victim to not living their life and having people in their ear telling them that they can't do something, don't listen to them. They are the unhappy people and they are the ones that you want to typically not have anything to do with. Whatever you do, just please don't ever give up on your dreams. Your dreams set you apart from everyone else and makes you, well you.

3. Whatever you do please DO NOT BE LAZY! That's the one thing that will do you in, and the only thing that always seems to do you in. I mean to other's it's called procrastination, but in your world, it's called being lazy. That's the doom for all people who seem to get discouraged more than the rest in college and it shall be your downfall if you don't overcome it. Stay away from the unmotivated people as well, they contribute to your laziness.

4. It's alright to ask for help, it really is. You're way more stubborn and prideful than you ought to be for your age, but life has taught you that you need to do a lot for yourself at any given time. But in order to succeed in life, you will need the help of those around you. Those same people will shape who you are, whether good or bad, only time can tell who that is. But for now, ask for help, it's there.

5. It's not a bad thing to make a schedule and stick to said schedule either. It's easy to lose track of a lot of things you have to do, especially with working and going to school. Being tired and not being able to concentrate is apart of the game, and they both will get you caught up all day, everyday if you allow it to. A schedule allows you to do so much more when given the opportunity to do so.

6. Balance your life family, work, school, and personal time is key to living a happy life. Your family and friends are key to keeping you morally grounded and happy, so don't neglect them. They don't want you to call everyday, they just want to hear from you every now and then just to see if you're doing alright. Don't just come around when you're stressed out and on your final leg, they need you just as much as you need them. Your personal time is your time as well, work is important, but so is your sanity at the end of the day. Find something that makes you happy and doesn't cause you to think too much, that will save you in the long run.

7. Keep doing what you're doing in regards to building your network. That old adage of "it's not what you know, but who you know" is definitely true. While having the degree, the volunteer hours and internships are good on paper, it's actually about who you know, and what they can do for you. It's not being selfish, it's just being real. That's how success works, hard work and building your personal brand and marketing yourself to those who want to take a chance on you. Apart of that is rubbing elbows with those who are already where you want to be.

8. It's no secret that in addition to your charming personality, your main abilities are attributed to that of writing. So with that being said, write, write and write some more. Even if you feel as though your writing skills and content aren't up to par, still write. One day you're going to look back and what you wrote and be extremely proud of how far you came between now and then. It's ok to write about any and everything as well, it's your life, document it how you see fit.

9. One thing that you need to do is read way more than you currently are. While reading more books is the object here, also get into the habit of reading columns and articles, seeing as how one day you'll have your own working blog. You can learn so much by looking at the style, the content, and the freeness of how they write. You can learn a lot from all of the great writers, after all, imitation is life.

10. Cling onto your mentors, and gather more if you can because they know way more than you'll ever know at this point in your life. They are there for a reason, to help you become a better human being. Granted not all of them want to see you succeed because they are just as spiteful as people your age, but there are those that are there to see you become the best version of you. They are easy to spot out, so cling on to them and they will do they will gladly help you when you aren't sure of something.

11. You are young, and in the prime of your life in terms of not having to worry about too much other than grades and internships. So with that piece of knowledge I implore you to drink often and a party harder. This is the time where you get loose and don't worry about too much in terms of social life, I mean you are still a young African American male, so be mindful of that and take care of yourself and friends when you go out. But at the same time, don't limit yourself to just one aspect of fun. Granted you do a good job of getting around and knowing a lot of different people from a lot of different places, so with that networking aspect I was telling you about, you'll never miss out on a good time because there's always something going on, and you know the people who know.

12. Don't feel pressured into getting a girlfriend, just don't. You might meet the love of your life, you might not. But at this point in your life, you're going to be living fast and having fun. Of course you can't help who you meet, but don't follow the flow of the crowd because they feel the need to be in a relationship. Oh yea, also have sex when you can, and when you want to, don't second guess yourself, it's college, if they approach you about it, then do it. Just be smart and safe about it.

13. In a blink of an eye, it will all be over. If you think about it, you're always on the go and doing something, so time will go by extra fast and when you know it, college will be over. Cherish where you're at right now, and don't think about all the extra stuff that comes with life that doesn't involve you. Take a lot of pictures because those memories will always be there for you to look back and laugh on.

14. If something makes you nervous or anxious, have the balls and fearlessness to go after that very thing. That's how you know that it means a lot to you and that you should do it. Too many times you'll come across that point and you're afraid of failure or rejection, just know that it's there for a reason, and it's there for you to learn from. Nothing is a lost or a defeat if you really look at it. Something better will always come from situations if you allow it to. That "just do it" attitude will pay off in the very long wrong, and to be honest, your best decisions come as a result of that very attitude.

15. And lastly, just be yourself at the end of the day. Social life in school is pretty much summed up into popularity contests and you we both know you hate being compared to anything or anyone. At the current time you'll see that you don't really fit in with the crowd because they are going with what they see, and you're going with what you feel. I guarantee that you if you stick to who you are, and never change, there will be people who never talked to in college that will be some of your greatest friends or contacts in the business world. You are a great human being, so being true to who you are will always garner results at the end of the day, always. Don't get lost in the crowd try to be something that you simply aren't.

I guess I had a lot more to say to my younger college aged self than I realized lol. When I was writing this list and just typing, all of this came to me, and it just stuck. I mean it's all true though, I think college was probably one of the harder times in my life, and yes harder than the military lol. But all in all, I'm pretty sure after writing this list I'm going to give my kids some great advice when they get to that point in their own lives. It's cool to be able to look back and just find all of that stuff and able to build on it for the future for my kids now that I think about it, but that's neither here nor there.

What do you think about when it comes to your younger version? What would you tell them? Leave it in the comments below.

Until next time guys.
  1. I genuinely love this post because so many of the things that you're saying I wish someone would've told me when I was younger. I think a major one is clinging to your mentors, because at the end of the day that's your guiding light to a certain extent & so many times when we're young we get lost in the dark. Amazing post & I'll definitely keep these in mind when I'm fortunate enough to have a child. xoxo

    The Budget Divaa │

    1. Exactly, I've also learned that even after we leave and grow up, mentors are still available, especially in your career. I know that I'm currently looking for someone to latch onto and learn the most I can about my career field and what not. So keep that in mind as well for yourself and your kids in the future.

  2. Great re-enforcements reminding us to give ourselves a break sometimes and not be so hard on ourselves!

    1. Exctly! Just to step back and take a little breather! Thanks for reading Amanda!


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