Energy Boost

You know a day is pretty random and out there when you had to cancel the blog you were planning on posting to write about the day mentioned. I don't usually do this, but I just felt an overwhelming need to do this because it was just so random. You can be the judge for yourself.

Well first I work night shift and it was pretty slow, so that means about time 7am came rolling around, I was tired as a donkey dragging a cart all day. I didn't really have the focus to do much more than just go home and get in the bed and not move a single bone for the rest of the day until it was time for me to go to work. No to mention the weather was pretty gloomy as it rained the night before, and the meteorologist predicted it to rain all day. So that's the setup for the day; tired, sleepy and rain induced sleep for some hours. Oh, and I took like four Zzzquil's just to make sure that I stayed asleep, (don't worry, I weigh around 250, four Zzzquil's are the equivalent to one for normal people).

First thing that went wrong was that my doctor's office called and said that my appointment was changed to today instead of next week like it was suppose to be. Luckily when I got there, no one was around and they took me straight to the back due to the rain coming and they wanted to make sure I get home safe. Well I thought it was going to be a pretty simple routine check up because I typically have back problems, but nope, come to find out I had kidney stones due to me changing my diet randomly for the last two and a half weeks. Long story short, the new diet affected my body because of medication I'm taking and how big I actually am due to my mass and weight. So the whole trying to be vegan thing is out of the window until my body has time to adjust to me cutting back on me and then adjusting to being a vegetarian and then so forth. So with that said sorry Tonya, in due time.

So after getting my medication and then getting home to sleep and taking my Zzzquil, I woke up within 6hrs with all my energy restored. That was my second problem because usually I don't sleep that long so it was irritating to wake up when I actually wanted to be lazy for the day. Then the third problem came when I opened my eyes and saw that the sun was actually up and shining with no rain in site, (this is why I have trust issues with meteorologists now). 

So those are the three problems I had when I woke up. Well they're not really problems, but rather annoying situations where I wanted to be asleep and lazy for the day but couldn't. So I decided that it was going to be a good day regardless and proceeded to get up and head to Starbucks for a great frappuccino because they usually make my day that much better. I have this routine where I go to Starbucks, get my venti caramel mocha frap, sit down with my laptop and pursue the internet for about an hour or so, reading blogs and making comments on them, supporting my fellow bloggers. That's my thing, that's what I do when I go to my happy place and find piece of mind before I have to deal with nonsense.

But for some reason the Lord deiced to test me on this sunny day because clearly I've been acting up lately, (I have a blog about that as well, smh).

But as I'm sitting there enjoying my drink, living my happy carefree life for the moment, I feel someone walk past me, but usually that happens at Starbucks and then the person comes back and taps me on the shoulder. I don't know too many people personally that frequent Starbucks like I do, or at all for that matter, so when I got a tap on my shoulder I wasn't expecting it o be someone I know but rather someone asking a random question like always. Oh and to add, I was on a very popular street here, but not popular enough for anyone that I know to be here during the middle of the day on a Wednesday. But like I said lately I've been acting up and this was the way for the Lord to tell me about myself because when I looked up ..


Sorry I had to make that in caps and bold and what not, but I literally yelled that internally when she tapped me on my shoulder. It has to be a good 9 or so years since I last saw her and she wasn't worth a damn. Granted we were all in college, learning about life and what not, but still she was a bit low for what happened. Now to make this abundantly clear, I don't talk to exes at all, if I do it's very rare. I barely talk to women that I date at that, it's no hard feelings, just that we don't have that much to talk about, that's just life.

So when I saw her I did what all self respecting exes did, I faked the funk and I was cordial. I mean we were in public and it was pretty busy, I wasn't going to tell her to fuck off or something, that's just rude. So I offered for her to take a seat, which she did, happily at that, and she proceeded to ask me the typical run down questions. I really thought that was all it was going to be, but deep down inside I knew better, I really did know better. So she says after a brief second of silence that she follows this here blog, which completely surprised me seeing as how we don't follow each other on social media at all. 

I did the normal dance I do when someone compliments me on my blog, I shy away from the compliments and say thank you. But what followed was the typical change of subject talk or the follow up questions about my blog, but rather she said to me:

"You're still selling yourself short I see."

I was completely taken back by that statement, well from her of all people. I mean we haven't spoken in over 10 years, how would know if I'm selling myself short or not. So immediately I got an attitude and I asked her how would she know, and with a resounding response she said to me: "when you write, those of us who like to read and be immersed in what we're reading can usually pick up on the feelings of the author, and in your case we know that you're selling yourself short".

When I tell you I was completely caught off guard, I was caught off guard. She told me that one day I will stop being "humble", and yes she used air quote fingers lol, she said that I'm going to be the most dangerous man that she knows. She proceeded to tell me that I'm one of a kind and that I'm not an easy person to forget. That I'm the type of person that comes in and makes a lasting impression on anyone who I meet because I'm the person that acts like I have nothing to gain from doing the person wrong or using them, elements in which makes a great man, great. 

She proceeded to say ask me would she of all people would be sitting down at a table with an ex of almost ten years, who would? She said finally that one day my wife will be proud to look at her husband next to her and have kids that looked up at him when standing in front. But that day will only come when I learn to stop being humble and start acknowledging who I am and what I have done.

What's funny about this is that people tell me all time, recently in fact, that I need to stop being humble and start taking what I want. That I need to be more out there and let the reigns go and act like the big shot I am. Even with this blog, the other night I was given the compliment of being a pro and that I know what I'm doing thorougly. I brushed it off but even on twitter when I pointed it out, two my contemporaries, @Neoshalatrice of & @_sanaabrooks of, told me that I am indeed on that level basically. I'm thankful that a lot of my peers from the blogging world think highly of me as well, (shamelessly plugs @QuirkyBrownLove's list of 200+ AMAZING Black Bloggers).

I guess today was that day I needed to wake up and see what exactly is going on in front of me. I mean I know that my blog is growing with each passing day and month, bound to take off one of these days, but I don't like to acknowledge it because I'm scared to jinx all that I worked hard for here on this blog. But today proved that people do in fact read and that they do in fact want to support it, it just has to start with me. I mean I'm confident in my writings and stand by every single word published here on Cold Knowledge, it's just that I will never not be humbled when people come to me and say they love my work, never. But this is one of those times that I'm glad I ran into an ex, and I'm glad that she said something that kicked me square in the ass.

Who would've thunk something like this would have happened on a sunny Wednesday afternoon while sitting inside Starbucks drinking a venti frappuccino.

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