The Power In My Smile


If there is one thing that I've learned about this past weekend, it's that I'm a man of rare stature.

Let me explain ..

I don't see myself as everyone sees me, I don't hype myself up if that makes sense. I've never ever in the history of my life felt the need to highlight what's best about me or show off things that I've own for the sake of everyone thinking I'm cool. I guess you can say that I embody the characteristics of a Scorpio in the sense that one of the best attributes that we have is being low key and observing everyone else; if you believe in that kind of stuff. There are a few reasons to as why I don't do that, but the main two happen to be that:

  1. It's dangerous to flaunt what you have for the simple fact that there is always someone out there watching you and want what you have because they are either jealous or they can't afford it. So in turn they will do anything to get it if they have the chance to do so. That's speaking from experience and first hand accounts on seeing that occur. I've seen "best friends" take significant others away from each other and I've seen people's on family members rob them of something from their house and then lie about it to the persons face.
  2. Then on the other side it makes the person seem very vain and reveals what they truly care for in life. I see on a daily basis people who worry about posting stuff on social media and making all of these status' about things that are pretty manageable or unimportant in life, (to me). When I talk to these people about what's important to them and what makes them happy, they can never answer that question. Then when I ask them about what it is they want to do in terms of goals, they stutter and revert right back to the same level of mediocrity that the live in.

Those are things in life that people have to deal with that I don't, simply because I refuse to. I refuse to be put in those situations that never amount to nothing at the end of the day while I miss out on things that this world has to offer. I realize that the majority of people have this  way of thinking instilled in them and that it will take a lot to break out of it. I'm definitely proof of that feat seeing as how I went from poor little old country boy to college student in a major city to black guy in the military and now as an adult working for a multi million dollar company. All of those things I've always done for myself because I wanted better for myself. I didn't want to do it because there was someone that I liked doing it or I felt pressured into doing it, I did it on my own time and in my own way.

I live my life for me.

Make no mistake about it, when it was younger, I use to catch hell for doing that. People who never had that option or luxury in life would always tell me what I should and shouldn't do. My response to that always would be a smile and no words because even at a young age I just knew that it was pointless to argue with them. Whenever I was in a situation that I didn't want to be or that was less than desirable, the first thing I did was make a plan to leave. I didn't wallow or feel sorry for myself, (not for too long at least), I got up and did something about it. At the end of the day I was going to do whatever it took to be happy, and if that meant doing something I've never done before or something that I didn't want to then I sucked it up and did it. We have one life to live and my whole life I've been hell bent on living it the way the I want to, regardless of who felt the way they felt.

The reason I bring all of this up is because this past weekend I had a moment where I decided to forego my HBCU's homecoming for quiet time with some of my other friends who just wanted to hang out and just chill. For all the people that I wanted to see, this year just felt like it wasn't the right time to go. I don't know if it's because it was planted right between Halloween and my birthday, which is followed by Thanksgiving and me having to work the month of December. The time frame just didn't work for me so I just went the other way and I was real quiet about it. While just hanging and doing nothing but random crazy stuff was therapeutic and I didn't really want to leave to be quiet honest.

But one thing my friend told me was that the level of fun that we were having wouldn't be possible if I wasn't there. I was a little taken back by the statement because I was trying to figure out what they meant by it and they said to me: "it's because you don't care who's looking or what you think looks cool to do, you just have all of the fun that you want to have and that's the best quality about you. The ability to not care about what anyone thinks and just to do you with no apologies". Of course I cleaned that up but you get the gist of it haha. But it was just one of those moments in life that makes a person feel good because someone they care about sums up their personality and goals in one breathe.

It's just one of those moments when you realize that God is real and that he sends those little messages to remind you that there are people out in this world that aren't about the vanity, the drama, the useless lifestyle, but on par with what you want out of life and they respond in kind to everything that you want to do because you do the same in return. If you ever wonder if there are people out there that share the same beliefs that you do, there most definitely is, all you have to do is go out there and be yourself.

They will find you when the time is right and make you realize that everything was worth it.

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